Directed by Fede Alvarez
Starring Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez and Lou Taylor Pucci
Runtime 91min. - Rated R
3 Stars (out of 4)
I saw this film with Mike Allen and Shalon Hurlbert who will be discussing it on an upcoming episode of "Tales To Terrify", a popular podcast from the guys behind StarShipSofa. I expect they'll have a comical, well-informed take on the movie. It was nice doing something nerdy around other nerds, even though my trivial knowledge isn't nearly as impressive in their presence.
I don't usually review current theatrical releases, but so much hyperbole is being thrown at the "Evil Dead" remake that I just can't resist.
Almost everything good about the new "Evil Dead" was copied directly from the original. The crazy demon voices, the chainsaw, the gore, even the damn Plymouth makes an appearance. The cabin looks like an exact replica from the 1981 classic and there's even a few scenes that use the same camera techniques. If you stripped away all the homages/rip-offs there wouldn't be much footage left.
I'm going to spend no time on the plot. Instead, here are some stupid things from the movie:
- The girl-gone-insane is left alone in a room with a shotgun.
- A water heater is so effective that it can boil away skin.
- A gas can is detonated by shotgun, offending Mythbusters fans everywhere.
- A beautiful girl takes a fully-clothed shower in a Rated R horror movie. (I checked, she's over 18)
- Some sort of evil-possessed vine makes it's way into a girl's womb and is never mentioned again.
- A character reads an evil spell out loud even though he's alone, thus setting off a local apocalypse.
- That same character opened a book that was wrapped and sealed with barbed wire.
- A girl cuts her arm off with an electric carving knife. (Do those go through bone?)
- After crashing into a swamp, with water all the way over the hood, a character tries the ignition.
- One character pours gas on herself, the floor, and her hands while trying to fuel a chainsaw.
On a more positive note, the whole thing manages to be one entertaining mess. Like characters in Japanese horror films our victims spray blood by the gallon. Really, they should consider some blood-pressure medication. The gore is as extreme as it gets. Our first taste comes when a girl pukes blood all over the head of another girl. I don't know what my friends must have thought, but I can't help but to laugh at the gore. It's always been my reaction. The only other option is disgust, but I've seen too many onscreen dismemberments for that.
I actually think the remake does justice to the original, it just doesn't offer anything new beyond the cast. A sequel is already in the works and I'll probably see it too. I don't expect it will be anything more than this one though.
You sir are not an Evil Dead fan. You mis-understood everything that this movie was. This movie was not made for you. You have no soul. Go get raped by a tree.
ReplyDeleteI always appreciate hearing from my adoring fans. I'm not sure what you take issue with. I actually enjoyed the film and gave it 3 stars.
ReplyDeleteI liked the original Evil Dead, but liked Evil Dead 2 more, and loved Army of Darkness. I just thought this remake used the good parts of the original but didn't add much to the formula. Thankfully it's a good formula.
On a serious note, this review almost seems like an intentional spoof on bad reviewing. And I'm pretty certain that you either never saw the originals, or don't remember them. I'm bored, so I'll go through your list. "Girl gone insane"... She was not apparently insane. She had a freak out, which they dismissed as effects of withdrawals. Then they SEDATED her and put her to bed, likely forgetting about the shotgun they found in the cabin. Its not as if they brought it along and were thinking about the safety hazard. "Water heater"... they intentionally showed the working of the very old and unsafe water heater. That much fire=very hot water. It only has to be about 140 degrees. "Gas detonation"...Mythbusters or not, its close enough to plausible for a horror movie. If you've watched the originals, you'd have seen a whole lot more to complain about. "Some sort of evil vine"...Okay, this scene derives from both Evil Dead I AND II, and was never explained there at all. This movie places an image of the occurrence in the Book of the Dead, lending to the idea that this is how the demon possession begins. Sort of a demonic inception. "...never mentioned again." Who would have mentioned it? She spends most of the movie possessed by a violent deranged spirit, not much opportunity for exposition. "A character reads"...Yeah, he's curious about the book, and for the sake of plot, he reads some strange words he finds translated on the edge. He's obviously a nerd, I would have tried to crack the code too. Not sure why him being alone is an issue. "That same character"... Kind of hard to check out a curious item with it being wrapped up. Guess we should all just give up if our candy comes in wrappers too. "A girl cuts"... Human flesh is the same as cow flesh, that's what the blade was made for. When you get to the bone, Aron Ralston had to snap it off too. "After crashing"... Now you really seem to not be engaged in the story at all. She is under the effects of withdrawals AND demonic stalking. She becomes conscious and VERY plausibly doesn't immediately realize her surroundings. The first thought she has is starting the car, but as she becomes more aware, she immediately starts leaving her car. Ever heard of shock? "One character pours"... REALLY?? This is a joke right? You're complaining that a FEMALE who at any moment will be attacked by a lord of demonic darkness, has a little trouble with her nerves trying to gas a chain-saw...
ReplyDeleteIn short, go read a kids book and grow an imagination or you won't enjoy life. Or just read a book in general. For the rest of us, this movie brings a giddy hour long smile as we witness a refreshed take on one of the most classic horror films in the last half of the 20th century. The gore, the violence, the creativity, it was exactly what I was hoping for.
Please accept my offending comments more as zeal for the movie and less as an attack on you.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely zeal. There's such a thing as suspension of disbelief. Your disbelief is obviously suspended more easily than mine. You've got a lot of excuses for the dumb actions I've listed, but they are poor excuses.
DeleteAnd yes, this review was a spoof. The plot only exists as a means to gore so there's little need for in-depth analysis.
The key phrase you used was "close enough to plausible." Lots of horror movies use this philosophy. I expect higher standards.
Yes, the originals had a lot of stupid stuff too. But when they did stupid stuff it was at least original.
The only comment I found offensive was this: "You're complaining that a FEMALE who at any moment will be attacked by a lord of demonic darkness, has a little trouble with her nerves trying to gas a chain-saw..."
DeleteWhat does being a woman have to do with her inability to pour gas into a chainsaw? I'm pretty sure it's all the fault of being attacked by a 'lord of demonic darkness.'Penis or no, I'm pretty sure anyone would be pretty shaky at that point.
Sorry to point this out on your site Dusty, but I'll point out casual sexism (or any other prejudice) wherever it is.
As for the movie, I found it fun despite it's flaws. I liked it and would see it again given the chance but it was in no way a smart or original film.
I get she'd be shaky. But most chainsaws have a sparkplug right on the outside of the engine. She poured gas freaking everywhere. My guess is she woulda burst into flames as soon as she tried to start it.
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