The Rock-afire Explosion (2008)

Directed by Brett Whitcomb

Starring Chris Thrash and Aaron Fechter

Runtime 72min. - Not Rated

4 Stars (out of 4)

"The Rocka-fire Explosion" is part of my Quirky Documentary series and is available on Netflix Instant.

For those who aren't consumed by nostalgia for Showbiz Pizza, The Rock-afire Explosion is the name given to the creepy robot band that played their until Chuck E. Cheese took over. Not everyone thinks they are creepy though. In fact, they have an enthusiastic and loyal fanbase. The robots and props are traded and sold between private collectors who believe in the power of the characters.

One such fan is Chris Thrash. He worked multiple jobs for years, saving his money to purchase everything he needed for his own show. When he opened the door to his Showbiz sanctuary all I could think was "Wow". He's got it all. Every single character is in perfect condition. Actually, he bought a set from the original manufacturer that had been sitting in wooden crates for years. The sets are all authentic. Even the wallpapers, floors and tables have the Showbiz feel. Chris is an active owner. He's got the characters all hooked up to a computer where he programs their movements to songs. His programs are actually much better than you ever saw when the characters were in their prime. Videos of his shows have gone viral on YouTube.

The Man Who Would Be Polka King (2009)

Directed by Joshua Brown and John Mikulak

Starring Jan Lewan

Runtime 70minutes - Not Rated

3 Stars (out of 4)

"The Man Who Would Be Polka King" is part of my Quirky Documentary series and is available on Netflix Instant.

Jan Lewan came to America from Poland in search of the fabled "American Dream". He believed that he would find that dream through his musical talents. At first he was a failure. There wasn't much audience for the music he was singing. Then he found polka. I didn't know that Pennsylvania had such a large Polish-American population and I certainly didn't know that they loved polka music. Jan Lewan found out though, and he started a multimillion dollar polka empire. Well, sorta.

Scalene (2011)

Directed by Zack Parker

Starring Margo Martindale, Adam Scarimbolo and Hanna Hall

Runtime 97min. - Not Rated

3 Stars (out of 4)

"Scalene" is available through V.O.D services including Amazon Instant and VUDU.

Jakob (Scarimbolo) can't speak. When he was younger he suffered brain damage from "huffing". Things would have been simpler for his family if he had passed away from the incident. "Scalene" is about the ripples his survival creates, and their subsequent growth into tidal waves.

Jakob's mother Janice (Martindale) has been the sole caretaker of her disabled son for several years. Her husband apparently couldn't handle the added responsibility. The only thing we know for sure is that he beat Jakob after became disabled. She seems to be a gentle, dedicated mother, but a few clues appear that raise questions about her sincerity. The first clue is her occasional outbursts of frustration. "Why do you always fuck everything up?" she screams at Jakob. Later, Jakob's caretaker notices bruises on his body, many which bear the shape of hands.

Roller Town (2012)

Directed by Andrew Bush

Starring Picnicface (all of them) and Kayla Lorette

Runtime 75min. - Not Rated

4 Stars (out of 4)

"Roller Town" is available on Amazon, YouTube, and multiple other V.O.D outlets for $3.99.

You don't have to be a Picnicface fan to enjoy "Roller Town". I am a fan. I've been following them since they released their Halloween rap video on YouTube back in 2007. "Roller Town" wasn't just a funny movie to me. It was a small, albeit vicarious, victory.

For those who aren't familiar, Picnicface is a Canadian comedy troupe based in Halifax, Nova Scotia. There are a lot of sketch comedy channels online, but Picnicface is bizarrely unique. One of their sketches features a scruffy homeless man begging a tenant from a nearby apartment complex to blow on his dice. Yes, actual dice. Another twisted sketch features a fast food chain that serves you so fast that your doppelganger from an earlier point in time meets you on the way out. This, of course, creates a paradox and you have to kill yourself before you get to leave. That cycle continues on endlessly. No one gets to eat their food. Then there's the video called "Bulimia". It features a young girl with bulimia puking up a 4 inch-tall man who goes on to have a passionate affair with the girl's mother. At night he makes his way back into the girl's stomach.

Metropolis (Restored Version) (1927)

Directed by Fritz Lang

Starring Gustav Frohlich, Brigette Helm and Alfred Abel

Runtime 153min. - Not Rated

4 Stars (out of 4)

"Metropolis" is part of my collection of "The Greats" and is available on Netflix Instant.

It seems like the movies are getting more realistic every year. First we added sound and color. Now 3D has become a regular occurrence and some films are being shown at 48 frames-per-second. Theaters in Korea are subjecting viewers to the elements in what they are calling 4D. All of these experiences may be enjoyable, but are they really films? "Metropolis" represents a time when cinema was an art that didn't care about appearing real. Sometimes the film is sped up slightly to give the characters less-than-lifelike motions. It's as if we're being given a guided tour of an artist's brain whereas now we're just borrowing their eyes. I think the success of "The Artist" is partly due to it's refreshingly unrealistic approach to movies. It was void of sound and color, but full of magic. "The Artist" has been a first encounter with silent films for many. This review is about what should be their second encounter.

Battle Royale (2000)

Directed by Kinji Fukasaku
Starring Tatsuya Fujiwara and Aki Maeda
Runtime 121min. (Directors Cut) - Not Rated
4 Stars (out of 4)

This review is part of The Lamb's "Movie of the Month" series. Available on multiple V.O.D outlets and DVD/Bluray.

I have no idea why students are being forced to kill each other in "Battle Royale" and I don't really care. The film opens with the briefest of explanations that include something about a student uprising and the subsequent passing of the "BR act" by legislators. I suppose they had extremely overpopulated prisons and were looking for an effective deterrent. They found one.

The film opens with a group of 7th graders ditching class. One of them cuts their teacher in the leg as he runs past. I was unclear on whether or not it was an accident. My confusion over the incident may be purposeful since it becomes a recurring theme. Fast forward 2 years and those same students are on a field trip. They all seem like normal kids. The closest thing to combat they're worried about is jockeying for positions at the back of the bus. Through the windows the students notice some ominous military vehicles. Soon after that they've been gassed and brought to a strange facility.

Card Subject To Change (2010)

Directed by Tim Disbrow 
Starring Kevin Sullivan, Johnny Falco, and Trent Acid  
Runtime 87min. - Not Rated

2 Stars (out of 4)

"Card Subject To Change" is part of my Quirky Documentary series and is available on Netflix Instant. 

(A former WWE wrestler and bona fide legend featured in this film, Kamala, has had both legs amputated since this appearance due to complications with diabetes. When not wrestling he drove a tractor-trailer for a living. You can donate to him via paypal. Learn more here.)

I need to make a confession. I watch professional wrestling. I've watched it since I was a young kid. I remember watching Hulk Hogan wrestle live back when he still had hair. By the time I got to high-school, Hulkamania had died down and been replaced by the "Monday Night Wars". I knew it wasn't "real", but it sure as hell was entertaining.

Pulling John (2009)

Directed by Vassiliki Khonsari and Sevan Matossian
Starring John Brzenk, Travis Bagent and Alexey Voevoda
Runtime 73min. - Not Rated
3.5 Stars (out of 4)

"Pulling John" is part of my Quirky Documentary series and is available on Netflix Instant.

Arm wrestling? I'm no good at it. By the time I was a high-school senior I was 6'2 and weighed in around 280lbs. Still, most guys (and some girls) could beat me at arm wrestling. I got some exercise playing basketball and drumming in marching band, but I never trained for strength. I have some natural strength, but apparently not in my arms. I may have had the physical attributes of a brute, but I never wanted to be brutish. Losing an arm wrestling match didn't knock down my self-esteem at all.

Quirky Documentaries Update: The Neverending Story

The Quirky Documentary series was designed to have an end. I thought I'd write 10 reviews and call it a day. As of now I'm at 14 reviews. There are still several left to review that were key inspirations for the series, and I'm discovering a new one every day.

I considered making the series an annual event. I'm afraid that in a year, however, that I will have acquired so many new titles to review that the task would become daunting. As an unpaid hobbyist, 'daunting' is simply not in my repertoire.

I'm making it official, the Quirky Documentary series will be a year-round feature at DustyOnMovies. I'll try to move the index to a standalone page so they can be easily browsed. Many of the films in the series are free to watch on various streaming websites. See the "Legally Free Movies" page for some examples. BubbaWheat from Flights, Tights, and Movie Nights was the first to step up as a guest writer for the series. I'm hoping that many others will follow in his steps.

Bill Cunningham New York (2010)

Directed by Richard Press
Starring Bill Cunningham
Runtime 84min. - Not Rated
4 Stars (out of 4)

"Bill Cunningham New York" is part of my Quirky Documentary series and is available on Netflix Streaming and other VOD outlets. Though they bear no official relationship, I consider this a companion piece to another film in the series, "Vincent: A Life In Color". Vincent likes to walk the streets of Chicago in flamboyant clothing. Bill likes to walk the streets of NYC to photograph people in flamboyant clothing. The two of them seem like kindred spirits.

Bill Cunningham is a focused individual. If I didn't find him so likable, I'd say he's an addict. When he's "using" he ignores everything else. He needs to be reminded to eat by his friends and co-workers. He's never had a romantic relationship. He spends every waking second looking for his next high.

So what kind of drug can keep a man's attention off of women and food for 40 years? Clothing. Bill spends his days looking for people in unique attire. He's referred to as a fashion photographer, but the terminology isn't sufficient. Bill couldn't care less if clothes are fashionable as long as he finds them interesting. When he goes to fashion shows he only takes photos of the clothes he likes. If he thinks it's something only a model would wear he'll put his camera down. Most of his photos are candids. He scours the streets of New York and attends upper-class fundraisers to capture what people are wearing. It doesn't matter if you're a McDonald's employee or a billionaire. If you scrub up well, he'll take your picture.

Summer Children (1965) (Restored)

Directed by James Bruner
Cinematography by Vilmos Zsigmond
Starring Stuart Anderson, John Hanek, and Valora Noland
Runtime 84min. - Not Rated
3.5 Stars (out of 4)

Coming soon to the IndieRights collection. A huge thanks to Nelson-Madison Films for my advance copy. For more information about this film's resurrection, visit their
Official Webpage.

"Summer Children" is a film you shouldn't be watching. I don't say that because of its content. When the filming was finished in 1964 it never got the wide distribution it deserved. It was stored away and mostly forgotten. The years went by and the filmmakers eventually concluded it was lost. But it wasn't. After some research they located the negatives and set about to restoring them for disc and digital formats. What this amounts to for movie nerds is the cinematic equivalent of buried treasure.

F*ckload Of Scotch Tape (2012)

Directed by Julian Grant
Starring Graham Jenkins
Runtime 84min. - Unrated
1/2 Star (out of 4)

"F*ckload of Scotch Tape" is available for $1.99 on Amazon Instant.
Since it's not mentioned in the review, the title of the film is in reference
to a homemade arm sling.

"FLOST" follows the escapades of Benji, a young man who is lured into a life of crime by the promise of Tootsie Roll Pops. He works for a criminal of unknown origins who pays Benji to beat up people and knock over liquor stores. As the film opens he's on an unusual assignment. He's been asked by his boss, Mr. Kent, to befriend a teenager at a local arcade. He doesn't know the reason for this assignment and is programmed not to ask questions. Mr. Kent gives him $50,000 to lure the kid into a van after he's built a rapport. The next day Benji turns on the news to see that the kid has been raped and murdered.

Vincent: A Life In Color (2008)

Directed by Jennifer Burns 

Starring Vincent Falk

Runtime 96min.- Not Rated 

4 Stars (out of 4) 

"Vincent: A Life In Color" is part of the IndieRights collection. It's available on YouTube/GooglePlay for $2.99.

For a description of Vincent Falk to do real justice, I'd need to be a much better writer. Describing the "Fashion Man" is tough because there's no one else like him. There's no picture floating around in your brain that you can use as a template.

I suppose I'll start with his most recognizable attributes. Vincent stands on a bridge in Chicago and greets tour boats as he passes by. He does so with some of the most flamboyant and colorful suits you will ever see. It starts with a wave. Then he does a little spin. Before you know it he's got the jacket off, twirling it around his head. He owns so many suits that he often greets the same tourists on their return trip after a wardrobe change. On Friday mornings you can find him outside the local NBC affiliate doing his routine. In the evenings he heads over to the ABC studios. Vincent has loyalty to NBC though. He doesn't take off the jacket and he keeps his twirls to a minimum when appearing on the rival channel. When none of those things are going on he visits the WGN radio hosts. Vince's color extends beyond his wardrobe so he's just as vivid in audio form.

American Fetish (2009)

 Directed by Michael Simmons

Starring Matt Jones and Charlie Lane

Runtime 90min. - Unrated

1 Star (out of 4)

"American Fetish" is part of the IndieRights collection and is available on DVD.

Couldn't find an embeddable trailer but you can view it HERE.

I'm pretty forgiving with indie films. Most of them are made by people looking to build a career. This can lead to some inspired performances. It's sort of like baseball. A player's stats increase during contract negotiations because their future depends on their performance. It's the same with actors and indie movies.

Winnebago Man - A Post Script

This is a follow up to my review of "Winnebago Man", the 2009 film is part of my quirky documentary series.

There is only one other famous person I know of with the last name of Rebney. That would be Bjorn Rebney, the CEO of Bellator Fighting Championships. It's a MMA organization of which I'm a huge fan. After viewing Jack's IMDB profile I saw that he is Bjorn's dad. I immediately assumed this was a prank due to the wiki-style editing IMDB. It's not. Multiple sources confirm that Jack is Bjorn's dad. Bjorn actually spoke to journalist Ariel Helwani about his father as seen in the video below. Jack must have done something right to have such a successful son. The video was posted on April 12th, 2012 and Bjorn confirms his father is still alive and doing well. The proximity to April 1st raises suspicions in my mind about the whole interview.