Cell Count (2012)

Directed by Todd E. Freeman
Starring Robert McKeeHen, Haley Talbot, Christopher Toyne
Runtime 96min. - Not Rated
4 Stars (out of 4)

"Cell Count" is currently screening at festivals. Check out their homepage for more information.

Every critic has a sweet tooth for certain genres. Frequent readers of my blog probably know I like comic book movies. I know that's a childish admission, but it's true. I recognize that comic book films are often superficial and frequently bad. That doesn't stop my enjoyment. I even had fun watching the live-action "Green Lantern" movie with Ryan Reynolds and that film is as bad as they come.

Something less obvious on my blog is my love of mad scientists. Films like "Re-Animator", "From Beyond", "Videodrome", "Altered States" and "Man With The Screaming Brain" always keep me entertained. Even the oldies like "They Saved Hitler's Brain" give me great joy. You'll notice that most of these films also fit the role of "body horror", a genre that preys on the fear of disease, parasites and disfigurement.


Given my fascination with mad scientists and horrible disfiguring ailments, I was truly excited to see the trailer for "Cell Count". I simply could not resist the promise of terminally ill patients being experimented on by a doctor who's obviously batshit crazy.

Director Todd E. Freeman takes great care in making sure "Cell Count" doesn't overcook its premise. He doesn't just rely on grossing out the viewer but really shows an affinity for storytelling. The film actually starts off with a sensitive scene. A husband is attempting to comfort his terminally ill wife in her final days. She's afflicted with something that is only referred to as "the disease." Not only is the man losing his wife, but he doesn't have the money to pay for her hospice care. That's when Dr. Brandt (Toyne) makes an enticing offer. He's been running a clinical trial at another location that could cure Russel's (McKeehen) wife. They also need some control subjects so Russel can go along to. The cherry on top is that all of their hospital fees would be waived. How could anyone say no?

It occurs to me that most mad scientists are German or eastern European. I'm no film historian, but I assume this has something to do with the notorious real-life mad scientist Dr. Josef Mengele. Also known as the "Angel of Death", Mengele was a Nazi scientist who experimented on Jews during the holocaust in various ghastly ways. That horrible man is so ingrained into human history that it's only natural he would be the model for all cinematic mad scientists. The mad scientist of "Cell Count", Dr. Victor Brandt, certainly fits this theory.

After the "offer you can't refuse" scene, Russel wakes up in the facility in which the rest of the movie will take place. Its interiors are a sanitary white that you expect will accent the color of random bodily fluids that are sure to show up later in the film. As soon as Russel's eyes open he notices a verticle incision on his chest that measures a few inches long. He makes his way through the facility where he finds his wife stepping out of a shower. She looks healthy and vibrant even though she bares the same scar.

Just like there is "the disease" there is also "the cure". That is all it's ever called. Dr. Brandt actually tested "the cure" on himself years ago and beat his illness. His scar, however, runs the length of his torso. When questioned, Brandt explains the difference in the scars' length is due to the perfecting of the procedure.

The inmates..ahem...patients aren't stupid. They become suspicious from the moment they awake. One odd thing about the facility is it's lack of personnel. There's one nurse, one doctor and a security guard who looks more like a special forces soldier. The only other person invovled with the clinic is an Asian lady with a sweet voice who appears in prerecorded videos. She gives brief explanations about procedures and announces when it's time for bed. She also appears to one of the patients in person, but that's probably just a hallucination.

The movie creates questions at such a rapid pace that all hope of answers is lost early on. I don't mean that as a negative. I quite enjoyed the mystery of it all. All we ever learn about "the disease" is that it kills people painfully and slowly. I would assume it's akin to cancer. "The cure" is some sort of organism; a parasite that feeds on "the disease". The origins of this organism are completely unexplored. It's effects on the human body vary wildly from person to person. When flesh starts shooting from a serial rapist's mouth and then envelops his head like a biological mask, no one even bothers to ask for specifics. They do manage to give him a tracheotomy and everyone is nice enough not to tell the rapist his mouth now looks like a slimy rectum.

In addition to the "body horror" aspects, there's also some elements of "Cube" and "Saw". The similarities lie in how the audience interacts with the story. In the case of these films, the audience doesn't know any more than the characters. When the characters wake up in strange place we're just as confused as them. We learn pertinent information and explore the setting at the same time. Eventually, we suffer with the characters as well.

The only distraction for me came from a character who may or may not see the future. He also suffers from hallucinations and paranoia. The concept didn't seem to fit with the organic, biological nature of the film. It's not enough to deter me from a positive review, but I could have done without that character.

By the end of the film everything you think you've learned about the story is completely uprooted. What you thought was happening is only a small glimpse of what is really happening. Again, it raises questions. Like a bi-curious college student after sex with his roommate, the film left me confused yet satisfied. The option for a sequel is certainly left open, but the filmmakers don't seem eager to explain details so maybe they see the ending as definitive. If I'm wrong, I'll gladly watch the sequel. Hell, make it a trilogy.