Black Cobra (2012)

Directed by Scott Donovan and Lilly Melgar
Starring T.J. Storm and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
Runtime 89min. - Rated R
1.5 Stars (out of 4)

"Black Cobra" is available on Vudu, Amazon and ITunes. Links below review.

Martial arts has a seemingly unlimited amount of disciplines. Most of them have merit. As an MMA fan, I've seen Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu-Jitsu, Capoeira, Judo, Wrestling, Boxing, Muay Thai and even some Kung Fu techniques used successfully in a fight. Cobra-style Kung Fu however, is complete baloney. Any martial art that requires you to do multiple flips, hisses and hand gestures before even engaging your opponent is probably not applicable. I am also skeptical that high-level martial artists can jump high in the air and glide like birds from rooftop to rooftop.



In some films this sort of supernatural skill is welcome. In a film like "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" it fits in nicely. However, it harms a film like "Black Cobra" because it isn't a fantasy-infused period piece. What works for ancient China doesn't feel the same in modern Los Angeles. Despite that shortcoming, some of the choreography is quite good. The fights are all pretty realistic, which is another reason the bad parts are so noticeable. We're told that Cobra-style Kung Fu is different because it focuses on finger strikes. Really? Since when is a poke stronger than a punch? We're also treated to the completely fictious phenomena of pressure points. Not just any pressure points, but the kind that paralyze an opponent. They, of course, can also be released from paralysis by poking the right point. I'll say it again, total baloney.

The plot makes very little sense. It's about a South African Kung Fu practitioner whose father is a political prisoner. He plans to free his father by smuggling diamonds to a black market buyer in L.A. He gets ripped off by the buyers and is forced to take down a Chinese crime syndicate. It actually sounds better in writing than it looks on screen. The editing chews the plot up and never allows it to become more than a martial arts b-movie.

I learn from my sources at Google that the film's star, T.J. Storm, is a legitmate martial artist. He's appeared in numerous movies and I'm sure he has a loyal fanbase. Combined with a low budget, he's the only reason this film will make any profit. I suppose there's always a market for martial arts films, but this one is as bad as they come. For the diehards though, it's available for fairly cheap on Vudu and Amazon.

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