Excision (2012)

Directed by Richard Bates, Jr.

Starring AnnaLynne McCord and Traci Lords

Runtime 81 min. - Not Rated (nudity and gore)

3 Stars (out of 4)

"Excision" is available now on Amazon Instant and Vudu.

I thought I'd dig up something twisted to review on Halloween and "Excision" certainly qualifies. Though, I would question whether it counts as a horror film. It certainly has the aesthetics of a horror film, but as for the story, it's more of a family drama.

"Excision" follows an 18 year-old girl named Pauline (McCord). She's not a naturally ugly girl, but she has little interest in hygiene or beauty products. Her hair is nearly always unkempt and she suffers from acne. But it's what's on the inside that counts. Unfortunately, Pauline's inside is horrific. She has lucid dreams on a nightly basis that most of us would consider nightmares. In one dream she has nipples lining her belly that naked strangers line up to feed on. She also delivers her own severed head via caesarian, it's still moving. Many of her other dreams are necrophilic in nature. Her dreams are always preceded by her bedtime prayers, each one of which made me laugh. "I haven't read your book all the way through. I can't devote that kind of time to a piece of literature that's received such mixed reviews." "I'm going to have premarital sex. I know it's a sin, but it's my understanding that if I ask for forgiveness you have to give it to me. So I will proceed as planned."

Killer Joe (2011)

Directed by William Friedkin

Starring Matthew McConaughey and Juno Temple

Runtime 102min. - Rated NC-17

4 Stars (out of 4)

What happened to Matthew McConaughey? He used to be so much fun. A movie like "Sahara" would give me something to bitch about for months. It seemed like every time I got bored with complaining about one of his awful films another would be released and rekindle my enthusiasm. "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past", "Surfer Dude", "Failure To Launch", "Fool's Gold"; the list goes on and on. Sure, he'd throw in a serious attempt every once in a while like "Two For The Money" or "We Are Marshall", but his real value to the film community was setting the bar so low that other movies seemed awesome by comparison.

When I saw "The Lincoln Lawyer" last year I was shocked. He played the character at the perfect pitch and never wavered. I instantly recommended the movie to all my friends. Usually I had to clarify that recommendation with something like, "Yes I know it's McConaughey, but it's good." I just figured it was an accident, or perhaps the consequence of a superbly talented director. I certainly didn't think any of the film's success was due to McConaughey. A couple of months ago I saw "Bernie". McConaughey costars as a cocky hillbilly lawyer and once again he did a fine job. He didn't star, but the film would have been a little less interesting without his character.

Movies That Can't Be Unseen (NSFW)

Nick from The Cinematic Katzenjammer is running a blogathon entitled "Most F**ked Up Movies I've Ever Seen" and this is my official entry. The films are in no particular order, but I'd say "Header" certainly tops the list in terms of depravity. I assume Nick started this blogathon in October for Halloween, but it could just be that he's a weird sumbitch. Click the photo to see who else has added to the blogathon.

An Evening With Bo Keister

Bo Keister stars in "The Deed" which debuts as the opener for The Blue Ridge Film Festival in Buchanan, Va. It plays at 11:00am Friday, Oct. 12th.

As I parked at the corner of Franklin and Main Street in Christiansburg, VA, I certainly didn’t feel like I was in Hollywood. From my vehicle I could see a Papa Johns, an antique store, and not much else. I had been told there was an acting studio in the area. Sure enough, a few feet down from the antique store a sign read “Actor’s Anonymous”.  I made my way to the second floor where another sign pointed me to a door. I knocked and entered cautiously as if it were a restroom whose occupancy status I was unsure of. I was greeted by a friendly voice saying “C’mon in”. The door opened wider to reveal a familiar face. There he was. The man I had seen in films and online; Bo Keister in the flesh.

Everyone knows that actors are shorter than they appear on screen. They are tiny, baby faced people who always wear a tie when not in costume for their job. Keister doesn’t adhere to those guidelines. I can’t tell you how big he is, but I’m 6’2 and had to look up to meet his eyes. He certainly isn’t lanky either.  Wearing jeans and T-shirt with a backwards baseball cap, it was apparent he wasn’t hiding his Dublin, VA roots.

The Weather Outside: Exclusive Q&A with director Jason Freeman

"The Weather Outside" mastermind Jason Freeman

 I recently had the chance to review a very advanced screener of Jason Freeman's "The Weather Outside" I had reviewed his brother Todd's film "Cell Count" previously. It was Todd who sent me the screener and volunteered his brother for this Q&A. A huge thanks to The Brothers Freeman for their contributions.

"The Weather Outside" is a neo-noir supernatural Christmas story in the vein of "It's A Wonderful Life" but with a little less optimism. As Jason says here, it is NOT a remake. It's an original and slightly haunting piece of fiction. Maybe not as frightful as the title implies, but it will keep you thinking. Read my full review for more.

(photos courtesy Levy Moroshan Photography)

Lamb Chop-Ups - A Contest, An Obsession, A Victory

 Play Lamb-Chop Ups every Monday at The LAMB.

Click HERE to see the puzzles from Round 1.

Round 2 started today.

Lamb Chop-Ups is a contest on the Large Association of Movie Blogs aka The LAMB. It's the brainchild of BubbaWheat who runs the excellent superhero-themed movie blog "Flights Tights and Movie Nights". He also contributed a review to my Quirky Documentary Series for "Confessions of a Superhero".

The game starts with a message. That message usually has a hidden meaning that can be decoded for bonus points. For instance, a recent puzzle was "A History Report" and the bonus movie was "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure". The message is composed from letters that have been cropped out of movie posters. The next step in the game is to identify which poster each one came from. Usually there is a theme. With the aforementioned puzzle all the posters were from time-travel movies.