Return (2011)

 Directed/Written by Liza Johnson

Starring Linda Cardellini, Michael Shannon, and John Slattery

Runtime 97min. - Unrated

3 Stars (out of 4)

"Return" was released exclusively to V.O.D. platforms on Feb. 28th. DVD available March 6th. See links at bottom.

"Return" is the kind of film that makes you feel guilty in the boring parts. The story is deeply patriotic. Not patriotic in the flag-waving, anthem-singing kind of way, but patriotic in the sense that it's a portrait of sacrifice for one's country. I'm not from a military family and I've never been very close to anyone who is, however, I get the sense that "Return" is alarmingly accurate. Alarming because of the sheer numbers of families who have been through similar hardships. Regardless of political loyalties or ideology, those who sacrifice are worthy of our respect. Not just the soldiers, but their families and friends are worthy as well. I think it's okay to protest war or to protest the decisions of our government, but it's never okay to protest or discriminate against a soldier or veteran.

Exquisite Corpse (2010)

 

Directed/Written by Scott David Russell

Starring Steve Sandvoss, Nicole Vicius and Guillermo Diaz

Runtime 97min. - Rated 18 in UK

2.5 Stars (out of 4) 

I have an affinity for b-movie horror. I like the idea of people being creative without having to meet the demands of studio executives. Despite the substandard production values, I find the uninhibited plots to be quite enjoyable. Unfortunately, many of them are just low-budget rehashes of better movies. "Exquisite Corpse" is very derivative, but manages to add its own unique charms to the genre.

The plot could be descibed as a pseudo-erotic version of "Re-Animator". Stylistically it's much more subdued. The tone of the movie is that of a typical romantic drama with a score that consists of melodic, arpeggiated piano. There doesn't seem to be any latent murderous desires in any of the characters. They appear to be normal college-age kids.

Oscar Snubs of 2011

 This article is reprinted with permission from Virtual Margin. Written by Jessica. The Original article can be found HERE.

It's my blog and I can talk about movies if I want to.

The Oscars are only a few days away. Normally I would be incredibly excited; the Academy Awards are my Super Bowl, after all.

But this go around, the excitement isn't there. I was severely disappointed with the nominations this year. It wasn't a particularly spectacular, mind-blowing year for film, but there were still plenty of gems. The Academy apparently didn't dig deep enough to find them. Or more likely, they were found, tossed aside, and the loudest, most obvious pieces of fool's gold were chosen instead.

My Week With Marilyn - Post Script

In my most recent review I ranted and raved about Michelle Williams' performance as Marilyn Monroe. Tonight she won the Film Independent Spirit Award for that role. In this article from E! Online she sheds some light on the role. Congratulations Michelle Williams. Awesome job.

My Week With Marilyn (2011)

 

Directed by Simon Curtis

Starring Michelle Williams, Eddie Redmayne and Kenneth Branagh

Runtime 99min. - Rated R

4 Stars (out of 4)

Sadly, I know little about the real Marilyn Monroe. I know the obvious things, all the stories that have been portrayed so repetitiously  they're embedded into pop culture. But I'm no scholar. I'm familiar with the iconic scenes, but I've never watched one of her films in its entirety. I know that fact devalues my reputation as a movie critic, but there are just so many films to watch. I'm 28 years old and there were innumerable films made before I was even born, many of which are considered classics. About a year ago I vowed to start watching Humphrey Bogart films. Now I've seen all but 3 films he starred in and I've seen many of his supporting roles as well. After watching "My Week With Marilyn", I think I may be forced to take a similar vow. I'll know a lot more about her the next time her name comes up in a review.

Bros on Bikes (2012)

 

Directed by Charles E. Cullen

Starring Nelson Oliver and Phillip Hurt

Runtime 3 fucking hours - Unrated

I normally give ratings ranging from 0-4 stars. Normality doesn't apply here.

  Charles Cullen at CullenStudios.net and Amazon.com

What do you get when you cross Avatar and Inception? I have no fucking clue. Until then, we'll have to settle for "Bros on Bikes". This isn't the first Charles Cullen film to grace this blog. If you are a regular reader (which my statistics page indicates is unlikely), you already know that Cullen films are mind warping. If you have never used illegal drugs, you may want to after viewing this film. If you are a drug addict, then a viewing may compel you to quit. In other words, the 3 hour-long "Bros on Bikes" can leave you forever altered and puts you at risk of emotional and mental scarring. This may be why the "chicken man" has such a loyal cult following. His fans have spent so much time soaking in the material that they have been inadvertently lobotomized. Now they have to watch Cullen films because sensory overload has built up a strong immunity to normal forms of entertainment. This is all just a theory of course. Clinical studies on the phenomenon are scheduled to begin in the summer of 2053.