Return (2011)

 Directed/Written by Liza Johnson

Starring Linda Cardellini, Michael Shannon, and John Slattery

Runtime 97min. - Unrated

3 Stars (out of 4)

"Return" was released exclusively to V.O.D. platforms on Feb. 28th. DVD available March 6th. See links at bottom.

"Return" is the kind of film that makes you feel guilty in the boring parts. The story is deeply patriotic. Not patriotic in the flag-waving, anthem-singing kind of way, but patriotic in the sense that it's a portrait of sacrifice for one's country. I'm not from a military family and I've never been very close to anyone who is, however, I get the sense that "Return" is alarmingly accurate. Alarming because of the sheer numbers of families who have been through similar hardships. Regardless of political loyalties or ideology, those who sacrifice are worthy of our respect. Not just the soldiers, but their families and friends are worthy as well. I think it's okay to protest war or to protest the decisions of our government, but it's never okay to protest or discriminate against a soldier or veteran.

Exquisite Corpse (2010)

 

Directed/Written by Scott David Russell

Starring Steve Sandvoss, Nicole Vicius and Guillermo Diaz

Runtime 97min. - Rated 18 in UK

2.5 Stars (out of 4) 

I have an affinity for b-movie horror. I like the idea of people being creative without having to meet the demands of studio executives. Despite the substandard production values, I find the uninhibited plots to be quite enjoyable. Unfortunately, many of them are just low-budget rehashes of better movies. "Exquisite Corpse" is very derivative, but manages to add its own unique charms to the genre.

The plot could be descibed as a pseudo-erotic version of "Re-Animator". Stylistically it's much more subdued. The tone of the movie is that of a typical romantic drama with a score that consists of melodic, arpeggiated piano. There doesn't seem to be any latent murderous desires in any of the characters. They appear to be normal college-age kids.

Oscar Snubs of 2011

 This article is reprinted with permission from Virtual Margin. Written by Jessica. The Original article can be found HERE.

It's my blog and I can talk about movies if I want to.

The Oscars are only a few days away. Normally I would be incredibly excited; the Academy Awards are my Super Bowl, after all.

But this go around, the excitement isn't there. I was severely disappointed with the nominations this year. It wasn't a particularly spectacular, mind-blowing year for film, but there were still plenty of gems. The Academy apparently didn't dig deep enough to find them. Or more likely, they were found, tossed aside, and the loudest, most obvious pieces of fool's gold were chosen instead.

My Week With Marilyn - Post Script

In my most recent review I ranted and raved about Michelle Williams' performance as Marilyn Monroe. Tonight she won the Film Independent Spirit Award for that role. In this article from E! Online she sheds some light on the role. Congratulations Michelle Williams. Awesome job.

My Week With Marilyn (2011)

 

Directed by Simon Curtis

Starring Michelle Williams, Eddie Redmayne and Kenneth Branagh

Runtime 99min. - Rated R

4 Stars (out of 4)

Sadly, I know little about the real Marilyn Monroe. I know the obvious things, all the stories that have been portrayed so repetitiously  they're embedded into pop culture. But I'm no scholar. I'm familiar with the iconic scenes, but I've never watched one of her films in its entirety. I know that fact devalues my reputation as a movie critic, but there are just so many films to watch. I'm 28 years old and there were innumerable films made before I was even born, many of which are considered classics. About a year ago I vowed to start watching Humphrey Bogart films. Now I've seen all but 3 films he starred in and I've seen many of his supporting roles as well. After watching "My Week With Marilyn", I think I may be forced to take a similar vow. I'll know a lot more about her the next time her name comes up in a review.

Bros on Bikes (2012)

 

Directed by Charles E. Cullen

Starring Nelson Oliver and Phillip Hurt

Runtime 3 fucking hours - Unrated

I normally give ratings ranging from 0-4 stars. Normality doesn't apply here.

  Charles Cullen at CullenStudios.net and Amazon.com

What do you get when you cross Avatar and Inception? I have no fucking clue. Until then, we'll have to settle for "Bros on Bikes". This isn't the first Charles Cullen film to grace this blog. If you are a regular reader (which my statistics page indicates is unlikely), you already know that Cullen films are mind warping. If you have never used illegal drugs, you may want to after viewing this film. If you are a drug addict, then a viewing may compel you to quit. In other words, the 3 hour-long "Bros on Bikes" can leave you forever altered and puts you at risk of emotional and mental scarring. This may be why the "chicken man" has such a loyal cult following. His fans have spent so much time soaking in the material that they have been inadvertently lobotomized. Now they have to watch Cullen films because sensory overload has built up a strong immunity to normal forms of entertainment. This is all just a theory of course. Clinical studies on the phenomenon are scheduled to begin in the summer of 2053.

Chronicle (2012)

 

Directed by Josh Trank

Starring Dane DeHaan, Alex Russell and Michael B. Jordan 

Runtime 84min. - Rated PG13

3.5 Stars (out of 4)

Yes, they all have superpowers. Yet they are not superheroes. 

"Chronicle" is a found-footage film. That means its in the shaky style of "Cloverfield" and "The Blair Witch Project". The majority of footage is taken by a high-school outcast named Andrew (DeHaan) with a terminally ill mother and an abusive father. The camera is his way of observing life while distancing himself from the pain. Thankfully, he is a more competent cinematographer than his peers in the genre.

Underworld: Awakening (2012)

 

Directed by Mans Marlind and Bjorn Stein

Starring Kate Beckinsale and India Eisley

Runitme 88min. - Rated R

1 Star - (out of 4)

It amazes me that this film has 6 writing credits. All 6 of the writers must be special effects experts because they certainly didn't produce anything that resembles a story. The purpose of the plot is to produce as many violent encounters as possible between vampires and werewolves. If you subtract all the footage that doesn't include action, the movie would be about 5 minutes long. The formula very closely resembles the "Resident Evil" movie franchise except with even less drama.

Filth to Ashes, Flesh to Dust (2011)

Directed by Paul Morrell

Starring Meredith Lane, Linda Bella and Allison Ochmanek

Runtime 90min. - Unrated

Zero Stars

Normally I provide links to V.O.D services. I feel morally obligated to leave them out of this review. I also feel obligated to tell you the DVD is available on Amazon.com - avoid it at all costs.

This movie is one ripe piece of shit. I am a long-time fan of micro-budget horror films and I even have made an acquaintance in filmmaker Charles Cullen. Charles makes films on the lowest budget imaginable. So I know a better movie can be made for $18,000 than the thoughtless piece of shit Paul Morrell has made. Did I mention it's a piece of shit?

The movie apparently made $86,000 even though it was only on 11 screens. That bit of information is what led me to seek out the film. Now I'm wondering who the audience was. Were those 11 theaters filled with mentally disabled adults from some sort of outreach program? It seems that would be the target audience. I'm not trying to be insensitive towards the disabled. In fact, I believe they deserve much better than what this film offers. It just seems to me that something so shallow could only be enjoyed by people with inhibited mental faculties.

Trailer for "Beyond the Black Rainbow"

This is quite possibly the coolest trailer I've ever seen. It's so cool that I'm afraid the film might not live up to my very high expectations. I will find out though.

Roger Ebert: Life Itself (2011 Book)

 

This article was originally published on Technorati. You can view that post HERE.

When hearing the name Roger Ebert, many people picture a short chubby man who argues about movies. Those who follow his work closely (like me) realize that he's also an accomplished writer who provides valuable insight on a range of topics including movies. With the publishing of "Life Itself" both casual viewers and loyal fans of Ebert get a extensive view of the man behind the image.

If you follow Roger's blog, you have a general idea of his health issues. He had cancerous tumors removed from glands in his neck a few years ago. The surgery was more extensive than had been predicted and required Ebert's lower jaw to be removed. After several failed attempts at reconstruction, he has resigned himself to accept his current status. He's no longer able to speak, eat, or drink. 

Cave of Forgotten Dreams (2010)

 

Directed by Werner Herzog

Runtime 90min - Rated G

4 Stars (out of 4)

Cave of Forgotten Dreams is currently playing on Netflix Instant.

Due to a plague sweeping through the valley, my day job temporarily became a night job. I've regularly worked overnights in the past, but these days I've grown accustomed to sleeping during those hours. Luckily, my job provides internet access. I began browsing Netflix for something that would keep me from falling asleep at the cash register when I stumbled across "Cave of Forgotten Dreams". I love Werner Herzog documentaries and have been itching to see it for a while. It seems strange to choose a documentary about cave paintings as your cinematic coffee, but it worked. I've been in this situation several times and I've found that intellectual involvement keeps me alert better than explosions and car chases.

Herzog's documentaries are so unique. His subjects have included Antarctica, the death penalty, a Christian minister, a man who lived with bears and cave paintings. Despite the diversity of topics, all of his documentaries could be viewed as one long movie. That's because his true subjects are the people. Most filmmakers go to Antarctica and come back with footage of penguins and icebergs. Herzog goes to Antarctica and focuses primarily on the people who live in a tiny frozen village. This village houses scientists, filmmakers and labourers that never felt at home at any other latitude.

Pete Smalls Is Dead (2010)

Directed by Alexandre Rockwell

Starring Peter Dinklage, Mark Boone Junior and Tim Roth

Runtime 97min - Unrated (PG-13 level)

3 Stars (out of 4)

Now available on DVD and V.O.D platforms. Links available at bottom of post.

Peter Dinklage as K.C.

If you aren't a Peter Dinklage fan you don't know what you're missing. Who's Peter Dinklage? His résumé is extensive. Recently, he won a Golden Globe for his TV role in "Game of Thrones". Dinklage is a stellar actor who deserves more starring roles than he gets. That is likely due to his dwarfism. Luckily, he is so talented that he occasionally lands a role that doesn't focus solely on his height. Such is the case with "Pete Smalls Is Dead".

Take Shelter (2011)

Directed by Jeff Nichols

Starring Michael Shannon and Jessica Chastain

Runtime 120min - Rated R

4 Stars (out of 4)

My wife is not the biggest fan of subtlety in movies. Despite its subtleties, Take Shelter held her attention for the entire 2 hours it graced the screen. That's because its appeal is multifaceted. 

The premise involves the main character having apocalyptic visions about storms. It's never quite certain whether they are premonitions or hallucinations. That's the kind of thing that hooks me on a film. I like being held in suspense for a couple of hours as long as the payoff is satisfactory. 

The Independent Spirt Awards - Who needs an Oscar?

This article was first written, by me, for Technorati. You can view the original HERE.


For 84 years the Academy Awards have been the highest honor in the world of cinema. Just a nomination has always meant instant credibility. As theater revenue drops and video-on-demand services take the world by storm, could that elite status be waning?


The biggest award the Academy gives is for "Best Picture". There used to 5 nominees in this category. With a list that short you could be sure only the best would be nominated. In 2011 there were 10 nominees. This year there are nine. The nomination and voting process is complicated at best.

A Dangerous Method (2011)

Directed by David Cronenberg

Starring Michael Fassbender, Viggo Mortensen and Keira Knightley

Runtime 99min - Rated R
2.5 Stars (out of 4)

David Cronenberg is a true talent and one of the most imaginative filmmakers of all time. There are glimpses of greatness in "A Dangerous Method", but overall the film is mediocre. In the long run, I think this will be written off as a small blemish on a fantastic body of work. 

Before I rant about the problem(s) with the film, I'd like to mention some of its finer qualities. 

Michael Fassbender is a perfectly adequate Carl Jung. The character itself is a little flat, but that seems normal for someone who is constantly analyzing people. There are scenes that feature Jung's sadomasochistic affair with his patient and colleague Sabina Spielrein (Knightley). Fassbender does a good job at expressing arousal and shame simultaneously. He's also very good with those subtle, uncomfortable moments when he's around his wife afterwards.

As good as Fassbender is, Viggo Mortensen is even better as Sigmund Freud. He has the look and the talent to bring the character to life. His portrayal of Freud is saturated with confidence and stubborness, the kind of man who would rather slander and disown a friend than adapt his own beliefs. In my opinion, Mortensen didn't get nearly enough screen-time. A whole movie about Freud, with Viggo in the lead role, would have been much more entertaining.

Higher Ground (2011)

 

 Directed by Vera Farmiga

Starring Vera Farmiga and Joshua Leonard

Runtime 109 min.- Rated R

4 Stars (Out of 4)

I spent about 7 years as a devoted protestant. That's not much time when compared to the lifetime commitment made by the lead character in "Higher Ground". However, most of the key events of the movie paralleled events in that 7 year span. During that time I worked as an unpaid intern in a program that would have bestowed upon me an official ordination. Instead of sticking with the program I became less and less convinced of my own beliefs and eventually came to the conclusion that I never really believed in the first place. These days I am perfectly content as a nonbeliever, but the lure of fellowship and a sense of belonging is something I understand completely. It's also something that this movie portrays with authenticity.