Excision (2012)

Directed by Richard Bates, Jr.

Starring AnnaLynne McCord and Traci Lords

Runtime 81 min. - Not Rated (nudity and gore)

3 Stars (out of 4)

"Excision" is available now on Amazon Instant and Vudu.

I thought I'd dig up something twisted to review on Halloween and "Excision" certainly qualifies. Though, I would question whether it counts as a horror film. It certainly has the aesthetics of a horror film, but as for the story, it's more of a family drama.

"Excision" follows an 18 year-old girl named Pauline (McCord). She's not a naturally ugly girl, but she has little interest in hygiene or beauty products. Her hair is nearly always unkempt and she suffers from acne. But it's what's on the inside that counts. Unfortunately, Pauline's inside is horrific. She has lucid dreams on a nightly basis that most of us would consider nightmares. In one dream she has nipples lining her belly that naked strangers line up to feed on. She also delivers her own severed head via caesarian, it's still moving. Many of her other dreams are necrophilic in nature. Her dreams are always preceded by her bedtime prayers, each one of which made me laugh. "I haven't read your book all the way through. I can't devote that kind of time to a piece of literature that's received such mixed reviews." "I'm going to have premarital sex. I know it's a sin, but it's my understanding that if I ask for forgiveness you have to give it to me. So I will proceed as planned."

Killer Joe (2011)

Directed by William Friedkin

Starring Matthew McConaughey and Juno Temple

Runtime 102min. - Rated NC-17

4 Stars (out of 4)

What happened to Matthew McConaughey? He used to be so much fun. A movie like "Sahara" would give me something to bitch about for months. It seemed like every time I got bored with complaining about one of his awful films another would be released and rekindle my enthusiasm. "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past", "Surfer Dude", "Failure To Launch", "Fool's Gold"; the list goes on and on. Sure, he'd throw in a serious attempt every once in a while like "Two For The Money" or "We Are Marshall", but his real value to the film community was setting the bar so low that other movies seemed awesome by comparison.

When I saw "The Lincoln Lawyer" last year I was shocked. He played the character at the perfect pitch and never wavered. I instantly recommended the movie to all my friends. Usually I had to clarify that recommendation with something like, "Yes I know it's McConaughey, but it's good." I just figured it was an accident, or perhaps the consequence of a superbly talented director. I certainly didn't think any of the film's success was due to McConaughey. A couple of months ago I saw "Bernie". McConaughey costars as a cocky hillbilly lawyer and once again he did a fine job. He didn't star, but the film would have been a little less interesting without his character.

Movies That Can't Be Unseen (NSFW)

Nick from The Cinematic Katzenjammer is running a blogathon entitled "Most F**ked Up Movies I've Ever Seen" and this is my official entry. The films are in no particular order, but I'd say "Header" certainly tops the list in terms of depravity. I assume Nick started this blogathon in October for Halloween, but it could just be that he's a weird sumbitch. Click the photo to see who else has added to the blogathon.